A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
