Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
