I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize