As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
