This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
3 2 1 whiskey
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
