Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
