cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
