i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
