He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
