White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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