I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
