3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
false alarm. still invincible.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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