I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
