I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
