Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
