You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize