Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
