it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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