I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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