He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
