I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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