Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
