Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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