Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
