at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I had to cum in my sink.
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