my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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