I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize