I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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