The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
