I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
