I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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