I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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