then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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