I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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