Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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