Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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