so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
