Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
