That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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