He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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