Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize