fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
