Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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