I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize