Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
