Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Randomize
