Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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