Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
