At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
