you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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