He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize