haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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