An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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