cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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