The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
