I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
