Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize